Ex- English captain Lewis Moody has revealed he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet confront the full ramifications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that ended the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was a member of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and lifted several English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast two weeks after learning he has the illness.
"There's an element of facing the future and being reluctant to really process that at the minute," he said.
"It's not that I am unaware of where it's going. We comprehend that. But there is certainly a hesitation to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, talking with his wife Annie, says rather he feels "peaceful" as he directs his attention to his present wellbeing, his family and getting ready for when the disease progresses.
"Perhaps that's surprise or perhaps I handle situations uniquely, and once I have the facts, it's more manageable," he added.
Early Indications
Moody found out he had MND after observing some weakness in his shoulder area while training in the gym.
After physical therapy didn't help the problem, a series of scans indicated neural pathways in his brain and spinal cord had been compromised by MND.
"You're presented with this condition identification of MND and we're appropriately very moved about it, but it's so strange because I think everything is fine," he remarked.
"I don't experience unwell. I don't feel sick
"The signs I have are quite slight. I have some muscle deterioration in the fingers and the upper arm.
"I continue to be able to accomplishing whatever I want. And optimistically that will persist for as long as is possible."
Condition Development
MND can develop quickly.
Based on the organization MND Association, the condition kills a 33% of people within a year and over half within two years of identification, as ingestion and inhalation become increasingly challenging.
Treatment can only retard worsening.
"It's not me that I am upset for," stated an moved Moody.
"It's the sadness around having to break the news to my mum - as an sole offspring - and the consequences that has for her."
Household Effect
Conversing from the residence with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by emotion when he spoke about breaking the news to his sons - teenage Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the devastating news, saying: "It was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They are two wonderful boys and that was pretty heartbreaking," Moody said.
"We positioned ourselves on the settee in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog bounded over and commenced licking the drops off our faces, which was quite silly."
Moody said the priority was remaining in the now.
"There is no solution and that is why you have to be so strongly directed on just welcoming and appreciating everything now," he said.
"According to Annie, we've been really blessed that the primary determination I made when I concluded playing was to spend as much time with the kids as attainable. We can't reclaim those times back."
Sportsman Link
Elite competitors are excessively affected by MND, with investigations proposing the prevalence of the condition is up to 600% higher than in the general population.
It is considered that by reducing the oxygen accessible and creating damage to motor neurone cells, consistent, intense training can trigger the disease in those previously vulnerable.
Athletic Playing Days
Moody, who earned 71 England caps and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in acknowledgment of his fearless, unwavering method to the game.
He played through a bone injury of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once initiated a workout altercation with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he left a training equipment and commenced participating in tackles.
After entering as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the back of the set piece in the critical passage of play, establishing a platform for playmaker Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the game-deciding drop-goal.
Backing Network
Moody has earlier notified Johnson, who skippered England to that championship, and a handful of other former players about his diagnosis, but the rest will be learning his news with the remainder of public.
"There will be a time when we'll need to lean on their backing but, at the present, just having that sort of care and acceptance that people are there is the crucial thing," he commented.
"This game is such a great community.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even should it ended now, I've enjoyed all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"Being able to call your passion your vocation, it's one of the most important privileges.
"Having accomplished it for so extended a period with the groups that I did it with was a delight. And I understand they will desire to support in any way they can and I look forward to having those conversations."
